Putting the CL on that ASS!

A Bernie's Daughter Thing


positive thinking

Defensive Living

Happy Friday!  Well, Saturday now. My apologies for this late post, but I had some severe technological issues yesterday that prevented me from posting this yesterday. But what is a delay, save for a chance to try again? So here we go. Remember when you were learning to drive?  Remember hearing this term, defensive driving?  I do. I was taught that it meant that I needed to drive under the expectation that other drivers could possibly cause harm to my vehicle–either through illegal turns, running red lights, lane changes, etc.  I needed to be alert and aware that danger lurked behind the wheel of every vehicle and driving was a dangerous task.  As I ponder that idea, it has occurred to me that I was taught the same thing about life.  I wasn’t taught that life is full of joy and love.  On the contrary, I was taught that life is hard and full of struggle and danger.  I was taught that I needed to live defensively–being aware that any and almost every body in my life meant me harm and I needed to protect myself from said hard.  It has permeated every facet of my life, save for Motherhood.  I grew up expecting the worst from others–even in the most benign of situations.  It’s strange to think about now because I wonder how much more could I have enjoyed life (and my father as well) if I’d recognized this sooner? Just think about it. Defensive driving makes sense, but defensive living? I’m not so sure. I’m not saying that there isn’t danger in the world.  I recognize that it exists. However, I know for me, life hasn’t been nearly as bad as I’ve anticipated it to be.  And I’m not so sure that living defensively (not to be mistaken for living on the edge), has served me as well as I intended.





*About a month ago, I spoke about how we can actually become addicted to the negative experiences in our lives and this is one of the ways it can begin.

That Old Feeling

A magical and glorious Friday to you! How many of you know that life is grand? Or at the very least that it can be. Don’t worry if you you can’t answer “yes” to that question. For a very long time, I couldn’t answer “yes” either. For a while, I was in what I like to call the valley. The valley is where we go when we’ve been rejected, abused, disappointed, frustrated, and sometimes just plain ole’ pissed off. It’s ok to go in the valley. There are definitely some valleys along the path of life. But you know what? Sometimes you can stay in the valley for too long. Sometimes you can stay so long that you forget to travel up to the peaks and you then become accustomed to the valley and all its surroundings. We weren’t meant to stay in the valley. The valley, like everything else in life, is temporary. But we can spend so much time in the valley that we get a valley mind set. And the valley mind set only keeps the very things we truly want away from us. If you’re in a valley right now, I encourage you to do what you must to not adapt a valley mind set. In other words, get on up from that valley! As a wonderful friend told me, “There is no more valley. The valley is gone. The only way you’re in the valley now is because you keep dragging the valley with you.”

Why You Don’t Need to Remove Fear in Order to Move

It’s Friday! Go Friday! Go Friday! Go Friday!  That just sounds like a fun day. Say it with me . . . Friday!  Doesn’t it just sound like it should contain fun?  I think so.  Anyway, I had a topic I wanted to cover, but this issue of fear kept coming up.  So many people were talking to me about their fear and how they can’t do the thing they wish because of it.  There is this mindset that in order to move, one must fear get over their fear.  That is so not true.  I’ve talked about fear before, in October.  But today, I want to go a little more in depth.

There exists this idea that perfect conditions must exist before we can do that next level thing we wish to do.  The reality is that there is never any set of perfect conditions that will arise. And waiting around for those conditions will only keep us from going where we want and need to be.  I’ve wanted to write and share my story for years with others.  However, fear of failure–rejection and things simply not turning out the way I want–kept me from doing so.  And the truth is, those things really aren’t failure. But I’ll address that at a later time.  But I was afraid, so I averted the call to do so.  But averting the call didn’t cancel the call. It just continued to call, only louder and stronger.  And if I hadn’t answered, neither myself nor anyone I’ve possibly helped would have gotten what we needed from my sharing.  And I don’t say that to puff myself up.  No.  That knowledge actually humbles me quite a bit.  Watch the video for more of what I have to say about it.

What Do You Want?

Happy Friday!  Well I messed around and taught myself a lesson the other night.  It was the night of the New Moon, and I decided to set some intentions.  Sounds simple, right?  Well . . . see what had happened was . . . I had a zinger of a time trying to do that.  Reason being is that I could very easily set an intention for what I didn’t want.  I don’t want to struggle.  I don’t want people to take advantage of my kindness.  But that’s not an intention.  That’s just a reinforcement of the same ole, same ole.  So I had to figure out how to get specific and focus on what I DID want in the positive.  Ruh Roh Raggy!  And that’s when the trouble started. But it was a great lesson and now I’m getting gritty with myself about what it is I really want.





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