Oh! what a tangled web we weave
When first we practise to deceive!
from Marmion, the epic poem by Sir Walter Scott
I’ve said this line many times in my life. I’ve heard others say it as well. And it’s become so commonplace that I’ve really lost the meaning of it. I mean, at first glance, it resonates deeply with me. I don’t like when someone lies to me. Moreover, I don’t like to lie. I hate lying. I’m terrible at it. And the way my conscious is set up . . . I’m terrible at it! But I started thinking about the state of relationships–not just mine, but the ones of those I love and the ones I see reflected in the universe. There seems to be a disconnect in relationships. And it’s so odd to me. We love to say how much we love love. We love to say how much we love the ones we . . . hurt the most. So often, we tend to take for granted the ones we claim we love the most. We allow a lot of things said and done, not said and undone to come between us and the ones we love. And then, you know what we do with that? We make up a whole story about it! A good, juicy story that only seems to get better the more we tell it. Details get added. Inflections get thrown in. Oh yes, the story gets real good.
So going back to Sir Walter’s line. What a tangled web we weave indeed when we practice to deceive. But today I’m not talking about the intentional deceit. I’m not talking about the lies we tell when we’re fully aware that we’re lying. I’m talking about the unconscious deceit. The stories we create that go on to create deep, gaping valleys of disconnect between us and the ones we love. We want more love in our lives? Well, perhaps we need to look at the stories we have told.